A new year seems to get my mind contemplating the old year. What I did not achieve, what I had not planned on achieving and the many moments that were achieved. Success, depending on how you look at it. The end of each year never entails what we imagine it would at the first of it. At least not ever for me. There are always turns, hills, valleys and bumps never planned on. Having precise control might be boring anyway.
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The past few days have been a jumble of thoughts:
Live one day at a time. Do all you can each day and be content in your work whether complete or incomplete. Let someone else be Superwoman, you can be SuperJen, just the way you are.
Grandpa's been gone a year. I have admired Grandma for her strength and happiness in spite of heartache.
Would I be as stalwart as her? Am I now? I could do better- learn from her example.
Life is only as good as we make it. We get out of relationships only what we put into them. Am I invested as much as I need to be?
Where did the tail end of 2010 go? Will I ever feel like I have enough energy again? I need a steady sleep pattern. I need more patience, more organization, more muscle, less fat; I need more/better sleep so I feel like running... at any capacity or speed, again.
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| Ola and I |
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| Jesi and Vanessa |
I have been blessed with a solid group of friends during these past two years. I've needed them, and I think they've needed me. Not a day goes by that I do not thank God for orchestrating His magic in joining us together. I feel it each time we laugh and cry together. Each time we strengthen, uplift, help and encourage one another. Each time we run away and leave mommyhood behind for a few hours or a few days of acting like the genuine crazy people we are. I love these ladies for their spunk, honesty, authenticity,
acceptance, and non drama.
I should attempt some goals; physical, mental, spiritual, educational, maternal. Actually write them down and commit.
Studying and teaching the New Testament this year excites me. I guess I have made two goals. The first, to read the NT entirely this year, even the lessons I do not teach; and second, not to cry every time I share my testimony of Christ. I hate crying. Especially in front of a room full of people staring at me. It is just plain awkward.
Pursue a masters in the fall or shoot for Number 4? Could I do it, either of those two? Keeping up with all that life presents is mind numbing now, but change brings growth and growth is good. Trouble is deciding which way I'm wanting to grow. I want to avoid stress, but I don't want regrets. I'll never pass through these years again, but my oh my diaper free feels like time for more education!
I need to be more proactive and positive, more carefree. Why do I fear potential inability rather than stand confidant in ability?
Be happy where you are. Be grateful. Make adjustments with what you've been given.
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