Sunshine

Last year at this time my feet were in stirrups while my newborn baby lay on the outside of my tummy limp and purplish. Arriving spread eagle with all limbs stretched to their capacity, Dr. Kirkman declared "Dad's seen these parts before!"

There she was, our fourth baby girl. Ten fingers, ten toes, a Perkins head and  nose and looking like others of our bunch. I was elated with tears of joy at her arrival. All the trepidation of not knowing her gender for 9 months led to the ultimate in surprises.

Mick was speechless. He was sure God had told him we were having a boy. So sure, that he was in complete shock after realizing what he thought he saw, was only an umbilical cord. After a second of heartbreak from a dream departed, I saw his heart fall completely in love again as he participated in a glorious arrival of another one of our children.

I was certain girl number four was coming. I prepared for and accepted her arrival before she was conceived. It was a package deal I owed myself. Given to me for immediate skin to skin, I rubbed her bloody and fresh new cottage cheese covered skin as she began to pink up crying out for air. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

No words best describe the feeling in my motherly heart during those first tender moments Sunny was thrust into our Earthly sphere from the Heavens, but it was nothing short of the highest degree of satisfaction and joy any human can experience. This I know for assurity.

She had been a long time in coming. 4.5 years after her nearest sibling and what seemed like nine months of non-stop pregnancy illness, she began her entrance by a month of random hard throbbing back contractions and throwing me into 20 plus hours of back labor.

It was Friday, May fourth. Mick was finishing up his shift for the week. Ruth was here helping with the kids while I labored. Feeling bored and in pain while waiting for Mick's shift to end, I went for a short walk, played Frisbee with the girls and tried to keep my pain in check. Off an hour early, Mick and I took our last family of five photo and made our way to the hospital via the Pita Pit for my last supper. It only took me three births to learn that I labor so much more productively when not on a diet of ice chips and water.

In the hopes of holding out for a natural delivery I had always wanted, I tried every tactic of coping that I knew. Mick and I walked the halls stopping every minute or so to lean against the wall while he pressed on my back. There were breathing techniques, counter pressure to my knees, and the contractions began to get intense. After another walk when we heard a mom push a newborn into the world, I turned to Mick in tears and said, "I'm tired of being a hero, let's just get this baby here".

Immediately a low dose epidural was in and I could still feel pain ( I hate not being able to feel anything!), only it was bearable. My water was broken and an hour later I was ready to push. Contorted into some Yoga pose and sitting up (a welcome change!), I was finally able to get this baby past my messed up pelvis and broken tail bone in two big pushes! With the help of forceps (again), she arrived at 11:25 pm. Weighing 8lbs and 21 inches long she was a perfectly beautiful surprise beginning to a new journey.

While in the hospital, she was named Laken, and a few other names I now can't recall. We had a difficult time finding a name that fit. Not one of them felt right. In our last few moments before check out and under what seemed like penalty of death before ever leaving the hospital with an unnamed baby, Mick called home for reinforcements. After proposing every name we both agreed upon to the girls, out of the blue, He asked "What about Sunshine? Instantly I loved the idea, having had it as one of my favorite names, and I told Mick, that's it! I just knew that was her name. As hippy sounding as it was. The vote was unanimous with the girls and within minutes Sunshine was written in ink on that stressful yellow paper, strapped in her monstrous car seat and on her way home with us for good!

Three days after delivery I was diagnosed with having Peripartum Cardiomyopathy which is the technical term for pregnancy related heart failure which can occur in the mother pre or post partum. I was back in the hospital for a myriad of testing. On complete bed rest for three days with the promise of getting better or the threat of getting worse, I was given a priesthood blessing of healing and comfort, which I fully credit to my recovery. My awesome friend Vanessa helped get me to the Doctors office, my mother in law was here to care for the kids and then mom came on Mother's day to serve me and my family. Never before had I questioned my mortality and had to face it head on. It was a scary, precious time for me which taught me many lessons in faith, love and service and the miraculous workings of the human body. 

Over the first couple weeks, no one wanted to give Sunny up for someone else to take a turn holding her. There were a few arguments and feeling were hurt. Lucky for me I was nursing so I got my opportunity to steal her on false pretenses when needed. We all enjoyed having a new babe in our home. It really was a special time!

As the hardest baby of the bunch, I look back on the last year of our time together and am quite proud I made it through the many challenges. Sunny and I have come so far together and are quite the buddies! This past year has been busy and Sunny has been a trooper joining us all the while. Just recently has she showed resistance to getting in her carseat. She's a trooper! I love her so much and she will always be one of the best decisions I ever changed my mind about!

Today was a busy day with soccer, sun, meetings and fun. We had a picnic lunch at the castle park as a family and invited Ethel-Lee and Katrina over for dinner and late birthday festivities of present unwrapping and cake eating. When placing Sunny in her high chair, she grabbed a handful of yellow frosting from her number 1 cake and was in heaven! We had a ball watching her make her way into a sugar coma. It's the simple things in life which make the perfect days.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!