Surprise Ending and Beginning

Three weeks ago I gave birth. The feeling still fresh on my tailbone and squishy belly. So fresh that is seems like a dream that all came and went too quickly. I miss the moment of excitement, the spiritual bounty that arrived as I pushed Sunny into this world. I miss it so much that the thought of it never occurring again saddens me. There are no better events in my life than those of the births of my babies.

But, alas I have my prize. She is here. She is healthy. She is a girl. Miss Sunshine Augusta. After all the years I spent hoping for a sister, I was given four only a mere three decades later. I feel blessed to be the mother of four daughters. Who would have thunk it?

Sunny is a wonder to look at and hold. A true beauty fresh from Heaven. At times when her deep dark eyes are open and she is peaceful, we gaze into each other's souls and I ask her how Heaven was. Hoping she still recalls loved ones she temporarily left behind and curious if she misses some like I do. I wonder if any of them warned her about her crazy mother, her overprotective father. When she is spitting her newborn cry and is as mad as gas gets her, I tell her thanks for choosing to come to our family and that life is hard, but we can get through it together. I tell her this while I sing "Good Day Sunshine" or "Good morning Sunshine, the Earth says hello!" or "Sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy". She will pause, catching her breath for a moment.

I feel complete and well rounded, even without the son I thought would complete me. I wonder at the mysteries which life will unfold during the daily tasks of raising four little women. I am so grateful Mick and I chose to have one last baby. Grateful she arrived female. What we would have missed! What Sunny's sisters would have missed!

She's a keeper.