Oh, and...

Do you ever feel like some conversations get cut short when you wanted to further state your objective? Distractions, whatever they be, creep up and then the conversation takes a different course. I feel like this often with my haired mommy brain.

My punchline may have taken too long to get to (I'm a talker!), or the conversation was not left on a positive or empowering note- which I think is important. These two reasons alone make me finish, albeit one-sided, conversations with people... in my brain. Problem is, if I do not tell them to the person they are with, my thoughts keep coming back to the broken conversation like automatic rewind and I get tired of hearing what I want to say repeated over and over. Besides, who's to say that the recipient may or may not benefit from hearing me out.

So the dilemma becomes, do I say, "hey remember when we had this conversation..." or just let a new  suddenly ended conversation take the current ones place? Usually the later ends up happening.

Today, I'm choosing to write them down.

The first person may or may not remember the conversation, but I'm so ready to have it out of my head and said. I did not end on a positive note and I want to correct that, because with the positive spin, is how I truly believe. Getting it out makes me feel more authentic and I'm all about that.

The second conversation occurred last night. I was tired, had a huge headache and although the conversation was important for me to listen and respond to, I have thought more about it since. This is what I wanted to say, in addition.

Heidi: Remember one morning when we talked about how marriage relationship changes after children? I just want to add that it really does change for the better. Change is sometimes hard, but we learn as we go. Adding a child to a marriage has waves of initial shock: (insert any positive or negative adjective you can think of here). But having added three children to a great (normal, with all its quirks) relationship with Mick, I can honestly say with my opinion: you will never truly feel the all encompassing power of love, or of God for that matter, between husband and wife, until you hold in your arms a tangible token of that incredible relationship. It is beyond words to explain- not to be cliche. Two great people always working on their relationship first, help all the kinks of family life that creep into a marriage, work themselves out.  

That's it. Who knows if you wanted to hear it or not, but seeing you everyday has made me think of this and now, its out there. Do with it what you will.

Tawna: I love you. I never judge you. I only want the best for you... always. Thanks for opening up to me, I love our conversations. I just wish I had a cool office we could chit chat in. 

One thing I used to remind myself when I was in your situation was: you have to be what you want. That is how you end up with what you want. What we want may sometimes change, but there is always a core desire at its base. Find that, and it will help your search.

Do not give in. Do not simply forfeit what you know can be the best for what is the best you can get at the moment. Trust me, it will always come back to bite you. You are what you deserve and you deserve the best. You are wonderful. Do not let any person's actions or words distract from your self confidence. 

And last: Enjoy the ride, but aim for the mountains. Realize how to avoid the cliffs by following the signs and have faith that Someone is looking out for you.

Thanks ladies, I think I'll sleep well tonight.