Top of Utah Half Marathon- 2009

(Sweaty, puffy and tired, but feeling good!)

An ancient running memory from over 16 years ago has been flashing through my head lately:

It is a cool crisp fall morning, leaves are on the Timpview High football field. I'm standing on the track surrounded by one other girl and 20 or so teenage testosterone bodies listening to our faceless, nameless P.E. coach explain that we will be running the mile today and he will be timing us. My heart sinks. Negative thoughts creep in. " I hate running. I can't run! I don't have a runners body. Nobody tells me I have to run! That's it, I'm just going to walk."

First lap around the track is slow, full of heavy breath. Immediately I'm lapped by the fastest competitive runner boys, and before I've even given myself a chance to start, I quit. I'm the last to make it across the finish line, walking the subsequent laps with occasional at-a-girls from a few guys eager to start some Ultimate Frisbee. Twenty one minutes was my time. 21 MINUTES for ONE mile! I had assumed defeat. I could never be a runner.

*

Yesterday, I left that little fifteen year old wimp in the dust! The negative thoughts, the hurt, the fear, the pain, all the insecurities- I ditched her for 13.1 miles of toe pounding exhilaration. If I could go back and talk to my fifteen year old self I would tell her to buck up!

"Try it", I'd encourage, "you might just fall in love with it instead of that stupid boy with the wind in his hair who just left you in the dust (literally!) ".

"Keep going! Who cares if people pass you by? You can push through. You are a runner!".

*

During the Fourth of July 15K freedom run two other ladies and myself would take turns passing then falling behind each other. Because Mick tells me I need to be more competitive, my short term goal was to beat them to the finish line. They ended up victorious, though I still held my head up high, proud of my accomplishment at finishing a race I was not quite prepared for.

After yesterdays' mile 10 marker, I spotted Jesi. Seeing her gave me a skip in my step and a smile on my face. She had come to run with me and push me through the last 2 miles (uphill). Not only did she show up in her running shoes, but she wore a shirt that read "Jen Rocks" with a pink crown that simply stated- Faith (her daughters' name, her daughters' crown). She handed me her priceless lime green fire cracker crown given to her by her mother. I felt honored to celebrate her late mothers' life and placed that crown on my head in proud honor of her. We sailed (probably slowly, but surely) to mile 12 with spectators shouting their well wishes and love of our crowns! With about a mile left, I spotted the two women who had beat me in the previous race. I pointed them out to Jesi, telling her the story of my previous race. Then I noticed another woman I followed for the first three miles that I told myself I wanted to come in ahead of. My competitive spirit rose up and I said "Jes, they are not beating me to the finish line"!

"Okay" was Jesi's reply. She kept me talking which was a welcome reprieve from the noise in my ears and at just the right moment when those three women slowed down, Jesi yelled "Pass em' Jen, do it, go"! We sailed right passed them and booked it to the finish with smiles on our faces.


Two hours and 32 minutes after beginning, I finished the half marathon and was welcomed in by Jesi ( Your the best! You showing up meant the world to me!), Rosie (It was great to see you- and in your running clothes no less!), Mike and Ruth (Thanks for the support.), Meggan, and my favorite four- Mick and the girls. What a great finish. I was on a good runners high chatting it up with a few friends who also ran until soon enough my legs felt like a pole cemented in a bucket!

24 hours later I still feel like that pole. This ride has been worth the pain, worth the struggles, worth the glory. I feel so blessed to be able to have legs that work and a good healthy body that carries me onward, blessed to say that I am a runner in my own right. Really I don't want to see my running days end, so It's time to set another goal race.

Top of Utah Marathon 2010?

Thanks for running with and encouraging me along with training Tawna! You paced me the first (toughest) four miles. Let's run some more. Proud of you, you did great!