Director Harry said 'the camera loves' me; I'm not so sure I love the camera

More from my "vacation"

Now, I do not wear rose-colored glasses in regards to life, but my weakness is walking out into the sun expecting the roses to be brilliantly beautiful. Most times they are and I need my sunglasses. On the flip side, this is how I get disappointed. I view having 'great expectations' as a positive, so I will not change this idealistic philosophy. What I would like to change is my negative reactions to circumstance.

Amid a breakdown, or what I refer to as "my moment"; in between sitting on my rear for hours- literally in a hurry only to wait and pacing the cream colored hallways of WEDU filming studios, I had many moments. Moments of clarity, passion, laughter, heartache and downright frustration with some great people to endure it with.

Kris- (In the middle) My admiration of Chris and her example of positivity is invaluable to me. She was the rock of our group, and I appreciated her quiet strength. I told her later that I viewed her as the mother of our group. She quickly let me know that she was not the oldest.

Cheryl- Our enthusiastic cheerleader, kept the laughter constantly flowing. Even amid the tears that I regrettably passed on to her- she was light and funny. Sorry Cheryl, and you are perfectly cute. I'm aiming for a six pack when I'm your age! 'Crap' I'm aiming for a six pack now!

Rosa- was a blessing to me. The best roommate a five day trip away from home could offer. I grew intellectually, culturally and spiritually from her... by the minute. We also shared moments of such intense laughter that I thought my cheeks would burst, as well as unnamed bodily functions.

Ellen- I saw true beauty, wisdom, grace and elegance from Ellen and she made me feel like I was home with grandma Brown. What a treat! I will never forget the kind words she spoke to me. They meant so much to me. Thank you again Ellen. Her Husband Hy was an adorable man with legs of any youngster and he sported them well in his shorts everyday, despite the frigged temperature.

Mary Kaye (aka- Marybeth or Mary Kate)-She was a powerful example of attitude, perseverance and touched my fitness life in more ways than I know I comprehend now. Despite all the heartbreak during the week, she makes me still want to continue my goals. I will be reminded of her each time I tell myself "this is too hard". What a beautiful lady she is!

Tamera (or Ta-mare-a according to locals)- was my saving grace when she called a taxi and like my personal Joan of Arc rode into save me from what I had to get away from. Her sweet kindness was very much felt, and needed. She acted and I was grateful. There is much to say about someone who does what is needed without asking. Thank you Tamera. (with Rosa)

Laura- our daily image of a more beautiful brunette Jessica Simpson, was the life of the party and so much fun. Her eye tricks were amazing! She is a genuine girl, I like that most about her. I'm secretly jealous of how hot she looks in yellow and sparkly golden shoes. So Hot on set that she was steaming!

Suzi- Who's real name is Elvasuzanne, was stunningly southern bell, although not from the south. Her phrase, 'bless your heart' is even southern! She's a natural eye candy. I even witnessed several men at the studio and airport checking her out. Such a natural actress with golden locks and perfect smile! Thanks for the acting lessons Suzi.

Stacey and Chris- Stacy, the cute in-shape humorous girl, brought along her husband Chris who was equally funny and charismatic. He (they) bought a small group of us a high calorie pasta dinner complete with a monstrous size chocolate (Divine) cake because he was proud of us all. How thoughtful of them. What a great couple they were and what great tasting food after eating like birds all week. Thanks for providing new terminology and laughter along the way you two.
I'm glad the days of combat dumps are over! (Sorry, no pics)

Debbie- I'm grateful that she shares my vision of women. I'm thankful for her inspiring words and actions. It excites me to see other women stand up for their beliefs. Thank you Debbie for encouraging me onward,believing in me, and giving me validation and thanks. I appreciate it greatly. You are talented and beautiful beyond description. What a joy to know you and call you friend. I'm in love with your program.

Jordan- The production manager was such a sweet man. I had a nice one-on-one talk with him that really opened my eyes. He told me to chase my dreams and that the fear I should have is the fear of being old and not having done what I dreamed of doing most. He reaffirmed to me that I shouldn't worry about the fear of failure. It's wasted time. He told me how beautiful and intelligent I was and that the world doesn't see me as I see myself. What a good reminder that picked me up and took me out of my infomercial inducing self-loathing state of mind. (wish I had a pic)

I think this little pep talk helped inspired me to stand up for myself and finally declare what I was feeling during my experience in Florida (my moment): Which is, that I don't believe in the Societal view of women. Women to me, are beautiful besides the size and shape of their body, the color of their skin, or what they do for a living. Why do people not know or share this basic principle? I felt this way about the Pink fitness program the first time I heard of it and I still feel this way about it now. It was just a little hard to recognize amid the 'showbiz' life. I'm so thankful to have been reminded of this affirmation I hold so dear.

This is how I plan to raise my three daughters, so that when they have a similar experience as I had this past week, that they will rise above it all and move on, giving thanks for the experience and what it taught them. If there is anything I wish to do, more than anything in the world, it is to teach this philosophy to all the women and girls I come in contact with. Not just teach them...but make them believe it.

That was deep!

See more pics from Florida...I mean infomercial world, on previous posts.