The End of an Era

After 11 plus months, I can finally call all my body parts mine again. What a thrill. As a mother, I look forward to these moments and count myself blessed. Blessed to have been able to provide nourishment to my child that no one else could offer, and blessed to be done breast feeding and have myself in whole form once again.

As usual last Tuesday morning, I went to nurse Abbie. Unlike usual, she made a really disgusted turn-your-nose up expression, and bucked away from me. I gave her a minute, talking sweet, and I tried once again. She wanted nothing to do with what I was offering and continued to turn up her nose.
"Okay", I told her, "we'll try later tonight". And I let her off the hook.

Bed time arrived, and she still refused to nurse. Not relenting on her nasty expression. I was beginning to feel self conscience. I took a shower, wondering if I smelled repulsive to her, as such was her plight it seemed. I tried again to offer her my milk, she cried and fought a good fight. She practically threw herself out of my arms.
"Okay Abbie, you don't have to have it", I assured her, "But we will try again tomorrow".

I was determined to end this nicely(with good memory) and on my terms. Tomorrow arrived. Abbie won the fight. I hung my head in loss of more moments we could share together knowing they were gone for good. I took pity on myself during her defeat. As soon as the discomfort started, my pity subsided and I succumbed to the end of my breast feeding days.

I treasured this time with Abbie. I'm sad it is over, and I miss it daily. It was such a great opportunity to stare into the eyes of heaven and awe over God's splendid accomplishment. What a miracle Abbie is to me. What a miracle it is that I was endowed with the blessing to nourish her. I'm grateful I took up the opportunity.

My baby will be a toddler in less then a month. Oh No! Her favorite thing lately...eating lots of real food. She likes spaghetti and vegetables. Tomatoes are her favorite! She likes to steal the big ripe juicy ones off the window seal on occasion. She even ate a felled tomato off the garden soil today...actually it very well could have been more than one!
She is quick and a fighter. Cute too.