I am JUST the wife

Typically I steer clear of posting about Mick's job. Not because it lacks some interesting and dramatic turn of events; some funny things which happen with him or co-workers, or those instances which irritate us; and definitely not for lack of Mick and I thoroughly discussing every aspect about it, and might I reiterate the word THOROUGHLY in bold, but because he has specifically asked me not to.

This is hard work for me. Painstaking work. I am reduced to being just the wife who shouldn't care.

I work at home without pay, out of choice. Mick works outside the home for pay out of equal parts duty and choice. We feel we do what needs to be done for the benefit of our family situation. Micks enjoys his job, for the most part. He is good at it. One of the best in the West, I like to amuse. We are grateful for his job providing for our needs. Mick does a great job providing for our needs.

Mick's job is not my job, mine is not his. But, because writing is a way for me to interpret or come to terms with anything of emotional consequence, of which consequence his job situation has become, I feel the urge to rant.  

I am even careful who I discuss many aspects of his job with, often feigning stupidity or lack of concern when what I really want to do is shout from the rooftops a few pieces of my mind to a few people in particular. But I do not. I will not. I will remain silent because I am just the wife.

Constantly I am towing the line of respecting his feelings about his job, encouraging him and choosing when to shut my mouth and suck up the disappointment or frustration. It is exhausting work.

This is not to say that I lack opinion. In fact I have very strong opinions about how Mick is treated at his position and how Mick performs his job and how all of the outcomes in the aforementioned categories effects our family, our relationship and our financial situation. The worst part about it is that it is not my job and I cannot do a thing about it except to deal with what comes or does not come our way- the latter being such a struggle for me these past 8 years.

So this is my gripe.

I am just the wife and sometimes being just the wife is not a fun place to be.