Among Other Humorous Things...

I came home from work this morning and Mick's first words to me were something like this "If your going to ask me publicly for a Christmas gift, you could at least tell me a size or give me a brand".
Like I'm going to publicly announce my size, you've got another thing coming Santa!

Then he said something like "You know some of the ladies at work read your blog and make comments to me; I don't want to be having conversations about breasts with the ladies at work".

So, Ladies at work, mums the word! Avoid all conversations about body parts from here on out. Also forget you read this, since Mick will likely kill me. 

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Sometimes I say things that are better left in my head. Whoopsidaisy! This one was funny:

 While running at work this morning an engineer/tech -who had previously wrapped up the ab blade with bubble wrap so we could use it as a thigh master with extra padding- said something like, "You want some WD 40"? I said "Sure, spray a little of that between my thighs so they will just glide right past each other". His response, "I wasn't talking about your thighs, just the belt on the treadmill".

Like I really thought he meant my thighs...

He was a funny, good sport.

But really isn't WD 40 the quick fix for what ails you, kind of like Duct Tape? I know mom would agree.

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Then, as Abbie was taking a bath she tooted and said "bubbles"! She tooted some more and said "I tooted!" each time after. In fear of what might happen next, I realized I needed to get her out quick. Just as she was washed and lifted out of tub, you can only imagine what came streaming down her leg and plopped right into the hot steamy tub. I held her there for a moment- waiting for the rest of my present- until her lips started to turn purple. Thinking she was done, we made our way to the rug to grap the towel when she remarked "I poopt, I poopt" in a distressed tone. "I poopt wite dare mom", as she stood freezing pointing to the present on the rug. So I held her bum up to the toilet. Big mistake. She FREAKED out and smeared her cute little poop basted cheeks all over the toilet.

Thanks for cleaning the bathroom this morning Mick. Too bad it was a few hours too soon. You would have enjoyed this mess!

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Oh, and you don't even want to get me started on the dream I remember having ALL NIGHT LONG last night. It was a doozy.