I should have put myself in timeout when my frustration boiled over. Should have counted to ten and cooled down before getting back to the job at hand.
Liberty and I were reading Nat at Bat. A kindergarten book where I was trying to get Lib to separate the word Nat so she could read it. This came at the end of our too long hour long homework and patience was thin. On my part and Liberty's.
"What letter starts this word"? I asked.
No reply. I asked again, this time overly agitated. Once again no reply... with drifting eyes.
"I know you know what this letter is Liberty" I say trying to sound more positive rather then frustrated. "N" I finally tell her in a louder voice. "What does letter N say"? Once again, drifting eyes, no reply with hands busily fumbling.
That was the defining moment. This is when I should have said "I'm taking a TIME OUT"! But I didn't.
I just yelled "N says nnnnnnnnnnnnn, you know this Liberty"!
Liberty cried.
Then I cried and had an I-can't-do-this-anymore moment.
I've got to be the poorest excuse of a mother. Should it really be this challenging? I'm ill equipped. Patience is lacking, some days desire. Couldn't someone else do a much better job at raising my children? I'm certain I'm ruining them one day at a time.
The pressure is getting to me.
Don't be too hard on yourself - I think we have all been there. Sometimes the whole homework/working with your kids/trying to get it done thing gets frustrating!
ReplyDeleteHope the week goes better for you!
I know that after returning from a vacation that I need a day of "rest". It's hard to come home from a trip and dig right into the routine of life. Just take a breather, do something good for yourself, and you'll be able to return to the good mother in you!!! Hang in there! You're great!
ReplyDeleteI am laughing hysterically!!! Only because I do not know of one person that hasn't been there!!! I was there a long time ago, but it seems like yesterday when I read your struggles. You are NOT ruining your children. They too will laugh at this one day, especially when they are helping their own children.
ReplyDeleteAs a former young child myself, I can assure you that eventually Libby will forget (or at least laugh at) the frustrating times in favor of remembering how grateful she was that you took the time to help her with her homework.
ReplyDelete