History 101

Today, I'm linking you to this blog.

I absolutely loved this post!

I'm hoping that the near future affords me more adequate time to answer it's specific questions and recount my personal history in more detail.

I've been contemplating recapturing my days-gone-by with my adult eye- in writing. That is to say, instead of the teenager mentality that lies within the pages of my journals that are stashed in the archives.

I've had occasion to dust off bindings and open journal pages as of late and the hindsight that I now possess is incredible. And I thought I was smart and level headed then...my old self has nothing on me now.

I treasure the memories somehow forgotten that got me from point a to b, c, and even z. I'm thankful my teenage brain took the time to write them down. Now, it's high time to unfold my secret past with my all seeing eye. For the sole benefit of one day sharing many of these writings with my soon to be teenagers! And, so I don't forget anymore.

Also, there is a poem that keeps entering my mind recently. It reads:

I think we are all well advised
To keep nodding terms with the people we used to be,
Whether we find them attractive company or not.

Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us,
Come knocking on the mind's door at 4 am.
Of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them,
Who betrayed them,
Who is going to make amends.

We forget the love, and betrayals alike,
Forget what we whispered,
Forget what we screamed,

Forget who we are.

-Anonymous-

In my quest to find myself over the years (do we ever?), I think I've forgotten some of who I am. This is my aim at desiring to remember. My old self has been 'knocking on (my) minds door at 4 am.' all too often lately.

So, stay tuned for History 101- and know I must be getting braver! It takes a certain strength to bridge the past with the present. Will I possess it? If you find yourself in the pages of my history- know that you are there out of love. Others of you lucky enough to read, may find more than you ever wanted to know.