Perfect Just The Way She Is!

Two weeks ago I took Liberty in for her kindergarten registration and assessment. It was very disheartening and caused me to cry my eyeballs out in failure as a mother. Why must the man from down under always sway my thinking and make me feel like less of a mother? Mick and mom were very graceful and reassured me that I was a good mother and doing my best with my daughter whom I know and understand better than any assessment.

Background on pre-kindergarten assessment Liberty:

* Liberty had seizures as a young toddler which caused speech delays. She saw a speech therapist for about a year and attended special play times with the Up to Three program. Soon her speech soared and we have not been able to contain her tongue since! Although she still has some pronunciation issues, she has advanced leaps and bounds. We are proud of her accomplishments and hard work it has taken for her to get to this point.

* Liberty is the most content happy child. She's easy going, always has a good time, follows rules and rarely needs discipline. To put it simply, she has been easy to raise thus far. As a consequence of this, when I find her happy I have let her carry on with her activities as they have interested her (in other words, I have let her do her own thing instead of having study time as many pre-K mothers do).

* Liberty has attended the Child Development Laboratory at Utah State University when she was 18 months, two years old, three years old and now as a four year old. This is an excellent preschool program that believes children learn through their choice of play. This mirrors my belief as her mother. With structured activities in language arts, writing, reading, mathematics, dramatic/imaginative play, outdoor play, field trips, creative arts and expression, music, and large and small groups; her intellect has been greatly stimulated. This in addition to reading books at home (she loves to be read to) and learning about her world as Liberty Lois Perkins, the middle child with two sisters.

* Liberty in all accounts is just like her peers. I have not forced her to learn certain criteria that the school district deems as necessary for a child of her age. I have let her learn at her pace, and have been content with that as her mother. I did however, start letter and number exercises with her a few months before her registration, as I knew what was expected of her. She did not have much interest in letter and number recognition, writing the letters in her name or counting things. She hated our 'homework' time. In fact she refuses to learn the ABC song and always tells me to "stop singing it"! I believe she feels pressure to be a certain 'normal', and I don't believe she needs that pressure in her life at the age of 4. That is what grade school is for.

Post Kindergarten assessment Liberty:

* Liberty is still the same, except now she is beginning to like 'homework time' slightly more. Really I think its the extra one-on-one time with me that she like best. She can even count to ten and recognize a few letters!

* I spoke with her Preschool teacher, and she reassured me that Liberty is fine the way she is and that she will learn on her own pace. She also shared with me how irritated she gets at school districts for putting so much stress on unnecessary average expected levels of pre- kindergartners. "Preschool children work well at their own pace, we need to stop forcing them to learn according to adult levels ", I believe were her exact words. I expressed to her how this experience made me feel like a failure of a mother and that all I've been doing as a stay-at-home mom has been in vain. She said, "they act like you have an illiterate house, that no books exist and you never teach your child a thing". That is exactly how I felt when I left the assessment, and it felt good to know that an academic professor of early childhood education understood my sentiments.

Future plans for Liberty:

* Keep working with mom, but keeping it fun! She will learn as she wants too.

* She will be attending the Kindergarten Readiness Program for the entire month of June. Farol (her preschool teacher) thinks that these programs point out to young children that they are not as exceptional as they truly are. I feel just as strongly about not pin pointing weaknesses that diminish self esteem but, I'm choosing to view is as another preschool type activity. I am calling it Kindergarten Summer School, and told Liberty that it is where children her age go to find out all about kindergarten, She was excited and gave me a high five! Of course, parent involvement is required, (because they probably think we are an illiterate house hold and that they have to teach us how to parent differently, if at all) but I will go and participate in the positive efforts of the program because I know it does help. If it helps Liberty feel like she is 'normal' compared to every other 'normal' kindergartner, if 'normal' even exists, I will be pleased!